Change is coming in my 2014

Well Hello There Friends! 

It's been a while since I was on here. Welcome to a New Year! I hope your holidays treated you well. Ours was fun and exhausting, full of friends and family and yummy treats. And gifts....! 

So.... 2014

Here we are a couple days in to the new year. Do you create resolutions or goals with the new year? Some say, 'bleh!', to making goals with the new year. I love it! I need it. I am always revisiting it, adding to it, marking things off and rolling things over to my new Goals list. I think it is good and healthy to think back on what you can improve on and to look forward to what you would like to do and learn and invest energy into. And, I like to pick a word for the title of my New Year's Goals. This year's word: 

Change. 

First change that came for my new year: we turned off our Dish service and are going back to bunny ears. That change came two days early! Why? Well, looking back over the past year, I realized God was talking to me through different avenues telling me that it was becoming too important in my life. I realized I had become addicted. I loved my television time. I have my favorite shows and would even watch reruns over and over again, wasting precious time and getting angry if my T.V. time was interrupted. My addiction was effecting our family life negatively. 

Second change to work on this year came to me after I read a post at Hands Free Mama. In her post, About Hands Free, Rachel writes, 

"Finally after years and years of over-commitment and meaningless information overload, I began to see those things for what they were: Daily Distractions. And with much regret, I realized I’d been holding on to “distractions” tighter than I had been to my own family, my own health, my own happiness–my own “things that matter.”

After reading this post and others on her site, I broke down in tears. God was speaking to my heart. I needed to hear this. I had to take a hard, close look at my daily life and swallow that I am not allowing much time for God or what He desires to be important in my life. And no matter how hard it was to read it and admit it [to myself and others], I needed to make some big changes in my life and choices. Thank God for people like Rachel to share these things and Thank God for his perfect timing!

So.... 2014 for me is Change!

Change how I spend my time. Change who I spend my time with. Allow Change to happen naturally and gracefully. Change.....

What is this New Year for you? What is your word for the year? Let God speak to you and stop long enough to truly hear what He is saying. 

Matthew 6: 19-21

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Where this woman's heart and mind are at at this moment......

sad                            depressed                     joyless         

      

heart-aching                  lonely                    hurting               

unmotivated 

  

angry                 overwhelmed                  tired

         

I want to cry                I want to yell                    

I want to curl up into a ball with a blanket and movie and not be bothered                          

I want to scream out my every thought about every thing on my mind with no care what other people think

                          

I want to do nothing                    

I want to actually enjoy something                     

I want peace                            I want to feel joy                                      

I want to feel beautiful                                 

I want to feel needed                             I want to feel appreciated          

 I want to be respected                       I want my soul to be on fire               

I want to accomplish every thing I dream about doing and enjoy it                          

I want to be a good mommy                       

I don't want to screw up my kids                                                      

I want to be 'that' good wife                                   

I want to not feel all of this at the same time, all the time, every day                                       

I want to stop complaining about my great life and be able to truly appreciate what I have                                      

I want to be joyful                   I want to be happy 

I want to unabashedly love and be unabashedly loved back

A little Easter and Spring Break Fun

Hey ya'll! 
I missed my Television Wisdom Wednesday yesterday so I will make up for it today. We are on spring break this week and have been keeping busy with Grandpa in town. We went for a drive and checked out a fish hatchery one day. The kids squealed happily when the fishies were feed and were all jumpin' around. Cuteness! We spent a day just playin' in the back yard, enjoying the sunshine. We even got in a little yard work and veggie seed planting. (That made this momma happy!) Today, since it is yucky and rainy, we went to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) and learned a bunch of scientific stuff. The kids love testing out all their hands on stations. Oh yeah! This past Easter weekend we had a bunch of fun too! Saturday friends came over and we colored eggs. Then the kids had a hand full of egg hunts in the back yard. The kids played, the moms chitchatted - we all soaked in the sunshine. Easter Sunday, we put on our Easter best and went to church to praise Jesus! After church, it was off to Nana and Papa's (my parents) for traditional ham and sweet potato dinner. Then more egg hunts, more sunshine soakin' in, and we even visited with a gardener snake that lives under their deck. All in all we have had a busy week and just haven't gotten to the computer much. As much fun as writing on my blog is and chatting on Facebook with friends is, being outside, in God's creation, with family and friends is much more fun. (and for the little ones, sooooo important) I hope ya'll had a blessed Easter weekend and a great spring break! ~ Erika

A Discontent Spirit

uuuggg 

I hate days like today. 

Woke up this morning with a discontent spirit. This happens every once in a while. I just wake up discontent and I am frustrated all day. 

Discontent in my home. 

Discontent with where I am at in life. 

Frustrated that the desires of my heart are not met. 

Frustrated that I feel like I am doing things right and getting no where while others who are not doing things right get what they desire. 

gggrrrr 

Just so discontent and frustrated!

And while I am at it, I feel irritated at the fact that I am so discontent and frustrated about these worldly pursuits! 

You know better, Erika! 

That is why I hate days like today. I try to keep my mind and hands busy doing chores around the house and try to fit in something I enjoy like making cards. But the only thing that really helps on days like today 

(and, well, always) is praying to God about my discontent spirit and giving it over to Him. He is the only one that gives us true joy. On days like today, when I feel like I only have a single, little shred of joy left, I cling to it and my God with all I have! 

I am a Prepper. Wait, WHAT!?

• I am always increasing my knowledge and skills in a wide variety of areas.
• I am a gardener, ever learning new ways to grow and cook my own food. 
• In case of an emergency, I have a plan for my family. We all know where to meet up and have an extra evacuation place to go to, if needed. 
• I have stored away supplies around my house in case of an emergency situation. Extras like batteries, first aid kits, toilet paper, candles, matches, food, water and fuel.
• I have personal protection and the know how to use it. 
• I have cash on hand in case the bank is closed and we need gas, food or supplies quickly. 
• I believe in planning ahead. 
• I believe in being self-reliant or, if you like, self-sufficient.
• I believe in helping those who are less fortunate.
• I believe in God and putting to good use His provisions. 

I am a prepper. Yep. You read that correctly. I would call myself a prepper.

• No, I am not a crazy person. (at least, that's what the voices in my head tell me)  hehehe  : )
• No, I do not believe that zombies are going to attack us. 
• Yes, I do believe that there is evil in this world. People, overcome by evil, do bad things and those bad things don't always happen to other evil people. 

In my opinion, we should all be preppers to a certain extent. I mean, look at the meaning of prepare: to put together; to get ready; to work out the details of; to make ready beforehand for some purpose, use or activity. Those are not crazy ideas or thoughts. Those are some pretty basic ideas. And, just because I choose to label myself a prepper, that doesn't mean I am a hoarder by any means or that I am not a philanthropist. I give as I feel I am lead to give and I prepare I as feel I am lead to prepare. So, where ever you are on the media's current sensationalized portrayal of prepping, this is where I am on prepping. Your thoughts?

a Christmas Song (or two) on my Heart ~ from me to you

Baby It's Cold Outside and I am Dreaming of a 

White Christmas, Dashing through the Snow along the City Sidewalks Dressed in Holiday Style. 

The Jingle Bells are Ringing, Ring-a-Linging 

while we are Rockin Around the Christmas Tree and the kids are seein Mommy Kissing Santa Claus underneath the Mistletoe. From our family to yours, 

We Wish you a Merry Christmas 

and a Happy New Year 

and 

Joy to the World.

Welcoming Autumn

The countryside surrounding Vezelay, France in October.

Autumn is here, my favorite time of year. 

The leaves change colors and fall. 

The days grow shorter as the night comes quicker. 

Crisp air brings about cozy blankets and sweaters. 

On the breeze there is a scent of smoke from fires warming cuddling people. 

Fog greets us in the morning with a silent hug. 

The pumpkins and corn grow big and tall, getting ready for the harvest.

Fall surrounds me and brings with it a smile and a wonderful peace to my heart.  

Remembering

My mom came in my room and woke me up. I knew by the way she was acting something was wrong. We watched it together in her room as all the horror unfolded live on the t.v. I was in a blood shot-puffy eyes-horrified daze all day as I worked as a teller at 1st Independent Bank. I was a very quiet day there and, when we did get customers, there wasn't a whole lot of chitchat. I am not sure if any of the lives lost that day is some one I know but that doesn't matter. For those lost and for those who lost, I cry for them all, every year.  And I try to take time to remember what that flag stands for. FREEDOM 

from an ordinary day to an extraordinary day

While garage sale-ing a couple of weekends ago I found a free box full of magazines. Jack Pot! Those are one of my favorite things to find at garage sales. I picked out a large handful to take home and have been reading ever since. One of the free magazines I brought home was a copy of Better Homes & Gardens from June 2004 and in it is an article titled, "A Day Like No Other." It was written by a Michele Meyer and I loved it so much that I wanted to share it with you all. Since I could not find it online, I am going to give you the main points she makes with a little of my own additions here and there. I hope you enjoy it and that it inspires you like it has me. 

My stack of free magazines with BH&G June 2004 on top.

Michele writes, "It's all too easy to put off so many of the little things in life, so you should make a commitment to trying these suggestions as soon as possible-today, in fact." And we should because, if we are not already aware we should be, life is short. We put things off until tomorrow because there is always tomorrow. Right? Maybe not. And if there is, those years fly by and I hope that my family, my kids will look back to see extraordinary days instead of ordinary or ugly days. 

"Here then are 12 suggestions that you can put into action" to turn today, an ordinary day, into an extraordinary day. 

1. Love To Be Loved ~ Offer each family member a warm hug and kiss whenever you part or reunite. You'll not only remind them that they are loved, but you'll also feel more loved yourself.
2. Listen. Really Listen ~ There's a line from a movie that goes: "Are you listening or are you waiting to speak?" Often we're so busy crafting our response that we hardly hear what others say. Break yourself of this habit.
3. Create A Secret Affection Code ~ Devise a gesture, like tapping the tip of your nose, to silently signal your spouse and kids "I love you" in public. Then put it to use daily.
4. Daydream For A Moment or Two ~ A mental break not only lets you destress, studies say it also boosts creativity and improves sleep and eating habits. So take time to be a momentary space cadet.
5. Use Humor in Frustrating Situations ~ While stuck in traffic or the slowest checkout line ever, look for the absurdity of a situation-and often you'll find yourself chuckling instead of stewing.
6. Watch Your Kids Sleep ~ No matter how old they are, a few moments of seeing your kids' peaceful, beautiful faces in repose can make up for the (many) hassles of parenting. Sneak in tonight and have a quiet look.
7. Boost Someone's Confidence ~ Have each family member say something positive at dinnertime. It doesn't always have to be about a person; it could simply be about their day.
8. Hold Someone's Hand ~ Few experiences are as tender as a hand slipped unexpectedly into another's. Touch is an incredibly important part of life. It makes you more alert and attentive. It builds intimacy. And it just plain feels good.
9. Climb a Tree ~ Blow bubbles, do a cartwheel, climb a tree, or read one of your child's books for yourself. Reconnect with childhood.
10. Keep Your Fan Mail ~ Create a file folder and sock away any written compliments you get from your spouse, kids, siblings, and friends. Add to it each time you receive something that makes you feel good about yourself. Then return the favor. 
11. A Little Bit Goes A Long Way ~ Feel overwhelmed by a daunting task or tasks? Instead of procrastinating and dreading them, take one step toward completing them, no matter how small. Once you do, you build momentum. 
12. Linger Every Day ~ Forgetting how to dawdle is a tragedy. Make sure it doesn't happen to you. So once a day, take a few minutes longer at something than you normally would. Snuggle with your spouse in the morning after the alarm goes off instead of leaping out of bed. Savor a cup of coffee (or tea) while reading the newspaper instead of downing it on the way to day care. Life is busy enough. Before today ends, carve out a small chunk of time just for lingering. "Women run from one task to another and forget to take time for themselves," Patricia Averill, PhD, says. "Taking just 10 minutes every day reminds you that you're valuable too."

Me and baby girl lingering in the hammock in the backyard.

And you know what? You are. 
Lets all help to make it an extraordinary day for each other.

RE: MishMashedMe

Hey ya'll! 

I am revamping, redoing, restarting, reviving, remodeling, remaking (hmm anymore re.. words.. nope, that's all I got right now!) things around here. I went through my blog here and deleted some old posts that I was bored with. I changed the background, add some new colors; ya know, things like that. Anyway.... I am going to be doing this blogging thing better (hopefully) from now, on. 

Key word: MORE!

I am excited to see where things go from here. I hope you enjoy what I will have to offer up. So here's to a reworked, revised and refashioned MishMashedMe! (and, hopefully, you!) 

Why Being Thin does NOT equal Being Fit

I am tired. 

Tired of feeling guilty because I am a thin person who wants to be fit. 

What is wrong with that!? Nothing! Every single person should want to be and should work every day at being fit. But so many times when I tell people that I am exercising, I feel like they are rolling their eyes and shaking their heads wondering why I think I need to. I need to exercise to strengthen my core, to work my heart muscle, to have more energy and be happy. No, I don't need to exercise to lose weight. Hello! I know that. 

Laying in the hammock in the backyard
with my son on a warm summer day.

I have had this body type since I was born. It is what God gave me, a thin frame and fast metabolism. Does that mean that I get to lay around and eat whatever and still be fit. No!  

My husband and son walking
down a trail, exploring.

Being fit is different than being thin. I want to be able to run after my child and not be completely winded. I want to go on hikes with my husband. I want to climb a small flight of stairs and not have sore, burning muscles afterwards. I want to walk the Portland to Coast with my sister-in-law. I want my kids to see what staying in shape, what being fit, looks like. I want to try to protect myself from diabetes, heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer's and whatever else I can. There is, in my view, nothing wrong with any of that. Nothing to feel guilty about. In fact, there are some very good things there.

So I am going to exercise. I am going tell myself there is nothing to feel guilty about. There is nothing I have to apologize for. I am going to be a supportive friend to whoever wants to get in shape. And I am going to be fit!   

The Plan:

Hello friends! 
It is a new year and I have a plan. Yes, a plan not a resolution. 
The plan: Get it together!
Get what together exactly? Everything, anything, life. 
All the stuff I have been wanting to try out, to do, to change; this is the year. At least to get the ball in motion in these areas. 
I mean what am I waiting for!? 
Every day is a gift from God not to be taken for granted or to be taken lightly. Go out and put forth the effort. What's the saying? Anything worth having, worth doing is worth the effort. 
Effort
Hard Work
Persistence
Faith
These are words to put into action this year. What is the 'stuff' you ask?
More adventures with the kids and husband
More experiments in the kitchen
More experiments in the garden
More attention to the budget
More time with friends
More praying
More God 
More of everything and anything life has waiting for me and my loved ones.
Do you have a plan? What is it? Or, if not, Why not? 

Life is worth the effort. It is worth doing. It is worth having.

Thoughts of a perfectionist.....



It's a constant battle to keep the voices down in my head. They're always telling me, "That's wrong." "Why can't you finish what you start?" "It's not good enough." "Almost but not quite!" I keep thinking "If I was just a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, woman then I could...." But I'm not, am I? Nope! That's what they tell me anyway.

What makes it worse is being around a group of people, any people. It could be family or close friends, people I love and respect, it doesn't matter. It seems like every little comment they make is directed to me on how I'm not measuring up. "Well this is how I do it!" or "This works for me, in my house, at my job, in my relationship." It's hard enough trying to fight off the voices, now I have to hear it from these people too! Ugh!

This is my life I guess. It's never going to measure up so why do I work so hard at it!? Does anyone understand or appreciate how hard I work trying to get it just right? So much of my life spent making 'it' just a little bit better and then, maybe, I will finally be comfortable and proud of what I accomplished.

I try to reassure myself that the comments aren't directed at me because I am not good enough but that it is just people making conversation. I try to reassure myself that people love and accept me and my performance at life so far. I try to tell myself that people do want to be around me just to be around me and not so they can pick apart every little thing in my life to point out that it's however wrong they think it is. I try.....but then the voices, the comments, the looks....

Only God could create something so perfectly beautiful. "Peace like a river..."

I know I am a perfectionist and those close to me, I hope, know this about me too. If you didn't before, now you do. I wanted to share this about myself because I thought it would be good to get it out of me. Maybe if it's 'out there for all to know', then I can start to relax. What do I need to do that? Not exactly sure but I think some grace, some unconditional love, a reminder every once in a while that, whatever 'it' might be, it's good enough just the way I did it and there need be nothing more to make it a little better. I am not perfect, I never will be. God is perfect, His way is perfect, His love is perfect and, bonus, it's unconditional! All I need to do is accept it......How perfect is that?!